You know that friend. It’s the one with which you hit it off right at the start… you get your nails done, have lunch together and call and text each other like you’ll be “besties” for the rest of existence. But then a day comes when she can’t make the plans laid out… she swears she’ll reschedule soon when things start to calm down in her world… time goes by and you call your friend but you only get voicemail… you leave messages that don’t get returned… you text to no avail… the days turn into weeks and the weeks months and, before you know it, too much time has gone by to just casually call and say, “Hey, I know we started out strong and really WANTED to get to know each other and even though it just never happened, I AM here for you.” Neither of you would believe it. There’s no foundation. You didn’t give the friendship a chance. Something went wrong with one or both of you and, even though you wish that friendship could have happened, something just didn’t click.
Ok, so maybe you don’t know that friend unless you have a blabbering, happy, “includer” personality like mine. I actually had that exact experience two years ago. I was the one who was (for lack of better words) “dumped”. Our “friendship” lasted about 2 or 3 weeks and then she disappeared…. months later she texted me and said she was sorry she disappeared and maybe we could hang out again. I was completely open to the idea, but it never happened.
I remember how hurt I was in the beginning of it all when she stopped returning my calls. There was no fight. There was no personality conflict. As far as I knew, we enjoyed each other’s company… I couldn’t figure it out.
To this day I have no idea what happened to that “Could Have Been Friend”. All she had to do was pick up the phone and call me back… but she didn’t. Life still goes on.
That said, I see a striking parallel between her and my attitude towards weight loss. How many times have I “called myself”… “left a voicemail”… “texted” and ignored this inner plea to get in shape and have more control? How many times have I made myself promises and then failed to come through? And how many times have I finally “picked up the phone” and told myself, “Let’s try again” without being fully committed.
My attitude needs to change from the “well… let’s see if it works this time” to “I’m going make it work this time”. In the end I am my own worst enemy. I (and I alone) stand in my own way. Author Napoleon Hill said like this, “If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.” and we all know he’s right.
I’m so tired of ignoring this inner me that could be my best friend. It’s time I pick up the phone and call her back.